Its funny how sometimes things will pop up at exactly the right moment. I've had a book sitting on my book case for a couple of years. Given or perhaps lent (I can't remember now) by a friend who was clearing out her self development books before moving abroad. It was one I'd never really given much attention to - in truth I thought it was a book about how to complain! Oh how I now see the irony in that! Having completed my 31 Day Clear The Clutter Challenge (which did take my focus off the Blogging Challenge - still to be completed!) in which it was brilliant to see the clutter clearing love and interest spread, this book fell into my hands as I was looking to see what else I could clear. I realised, opening up the cover and reading just the first page, that I had been overlooking a little gem!
A Complaint Free World, by Will Bowen, is essentially using the law of attraction to reduce and ultimately eradicate complaining and unhelpful negative thinking, and instead focus on a positive attitude, gratitude for what we have got, and attracting more of this into our lives. Using a purple wristband as a reminder to be complaint free the book takes us through the stages of learning how to be complaint free.
Unconscious Incompetence is where we don't actually realise how negative we are being, complaining, bitching, gossiping about others and about ourselves. We are unaware that this negativity is attracting more negativity into our lives. This is the state where many people sit all their lives, never realising that things could be different.
The next stage is the real uncomfortable stage - the state of Conscious Incompetence - so here we are becoming aware of just how much we complain, bitch and whine. And we may be shocked at this. It is also a stage in which we notice just how negative those around us are being, yet if we complain and moan about their negativity are we not being negative ourselves? In Illusions, Richard Bach wrote a simple and profound truth - 'like attracts like'. We are all energy beings and energy that does not vibrate at the same frequency does not harmonise. Our thoughts are energy, and we will attract those things that harmonise with our thought patterns. Complaining and moaning regularly is actually sending out messages that this is what we want in our lives. And funnily enough, that is what you will get.
Conscious Competence is the next state - where you might have cracked wearing your purple wristband for 21 days without moving it to the other arm, yet still needing a reminder, still working away at it, catching yourself just before you verbalise a complaint or a gripe. By now you may notice your relationships with others have changed, moved on, and you are attracting far more positivity into your life than you ever imagined.
And finally you reach Unconscious Competence where being complaint free is well, your way of life. You create the life you desire. You create the relationships you desire. You choose your words wisely.
I'm at the uncomfortable state of Conscious Incompetence right now.
My purple wristband is on its way. I'm being aware of just how much negativity I voice in my life, yet had you asked me before I'd read this book I'd have said Oh I don't complain that much, I'm pretty positive.
The actions are there to be taken, choices to be made. My partner and I run a lot of marathons, many around a lake in Milton Keynes with the 'Enigma family' - at any one event I will know 75% of the runners there - they are very sociable events. Yet the nature of the course is that of laps - endless relentless laps and if someone is running at a similar pace but just 5 minutes ahead or behind you, you may not see them all day. I find even on lap 1 I am already thinking oh no, another 6 to go and focusing on how much further I still have to run, instead of just enjoying all that my running gives me. Last weekend I chose to not run the marathon but instead to run the course backwards for a few laps, giving me the opportunity to high five and encourage all my friends, turning back and running alongside those friends who were struggling or perhaps just to enjoy a mile of two of chat and comradeship. I loved it. I have nothing to prove with my marathon running, or at least not round that lake, so why not quit the griping of how much I hate the relentless laps, and find a way to enjoy them and my friends instead.
If you're interested in living in a Complaint Free World check out www.acomplaintfreeworld.org and join me in my quest to move towards Unconscious Competence. I have a small stock of bracelets to share so do please let me know and we can share the journey together!